First we need to be aware that sadly they do exist and they present with different levels of malignancy and destructiveness.
This awareness can help us to spot them before they spot us. We must do this to avoid them feeding off us..
We must remember we can't change them we can only change ourselves. We therefore must learn the skills required to handle these people without having any expectations of change on their part (difficult I know).
Expectations can put us in a dependent and victim place. Though this position can suit the narcissist because they then have power and control over us.
Not going head to head with a narcissist frustrates them but it's wise. They love drama and their drama kick is not being fed.when we don't get sucked into their games.
The best approach is to say how you feel to relieve yourself of your anger and to validate yourself then leave their company or the room.
In this way you do not become dependent on a response from them but also you have self validated and you have not allowed your voice to go unspoken. This is healthy for you even if no validation comes from them.
In the long term living, schooling, working or socialising with narcissists will leave you feeling exhausted and empty. Your physical and mental health is likely to suffer.
Where you find narcissists, competition and back stabbing is likely to be the norm. In a healthy environment respect cooperation and teamwork is likely to be their norm.
Be aware narcissists covertly takeover the communications network of any system and and the isolation process begins by the many means at their disposal I.e. using their flying monkeys/codependent friends support, lovebombing and discarding,, gaslighting, isolating, exclusion, demeaning people in public the list goes on.
If you stay in these toxic environments you will become destabilised and you will lose your sense of self and your values if this becomes your new norm.
Healthy people eventually leave and find a system that links with their value system. It's the only way to stay well mentally and emotionally going forward.
By inormalising healthy environments and not accepting narcissistic systems or people, we are being role models and giving hope and example of what is acceptable to future generations, system and organisations.
For more information about the subjects covered in this blog, contact Margaret Parkes - phone: 086 832 0422 email: mparkestherapy@gmail.com
Comments