Bullying

Male victim turns away from bullies pointing at him.

Physical bullying is devastating for the victim - counselling with Margaret can be
the fist step in stopping it.

Bullying of the young and the older person


In my work I regularly meet people, both young and old, who are near breaking point due to bullying. This bullying can take place anywhere - in school, on social networks, in college, in the work environment or in a training organisation. If not dealt with, it can happen for very long periods of time – even over decades.

In my experience victims of bullying are afraid to speak out for fear of reprisals, to the point where the victim eventually feels there is something wrong with them!

The experience of being judged, criticized, ridiculed and, in some cases, physically attacked by others always has an impact. Usually, the victim experiences intense anxiety, nervousness, self-consciousness and low self-esteem – and this makes it even more difficult for them to deal with this horrible situation.

Very often the sufferer eventually avoids social interaction to escape the conflict, emotional pain and hurt that the bullies create. The victim can then become isolated, lonely, depressed and eventually believe that they are different. Unless it is addressed, victims of bullying can be dealing with these effects for most of their adult life.

To the victim of bullying…

I fully understand the depth of this traumatic experience - the shame and the fear you feel. I know about the fear of conversation; the fear of having nothing interesting to talk about; the fear that you said something wrong; the fear of disapproval; the fear of rejection; the fear of judgement; the fear of letting your true self be known and the continuous hiding deep inside you of all this fear.

I also understand your deep sense of shame – it is probably due to an unrealistic expectation that you should have been able to handle the situation differently or do something about it. The result might be making you feel hopeless about yourself. I also know that, at times, the anxiety, depression and the feeling of powerlessness can feel overwhelming.
BUT TAKING ACTION IS HOW YOU STOP IT!

By taking action and talking about the bully and the bullying, you can break this stranglehold of shame and powerlessness. You can learn to have compassion for yourself and to love yourself. You can also recover the self-esteem that the bullying has stolen from you. This good news is that, by taking action, things can get better.

Over the years, I have worked with many clients, young and old, who have had similar experiences. With intervention, it is possible to recover, to become empowered and to move forward.

I can help you build your self–esteem, your confidence and your communication skills to enable you to take your power back from the bully. I can help YOU to understand the dynamics that are taking place – then, with that knowledge, YOU can break the abuse pattern.

To the parents of a victim of bullying…

There are few things more painful and traumatic for a parent than to become aware that their child is being bullied. In my work I have found that, very often, the parent doesn’t know what to do next or how to handle the situation. I can help you to understand the dynamics that are taking place and how to break the abuse pattern. Together we can uncover what might be helpful for you and your family.

Unfortunately, it is sometimes the case that the child who is being bullied has parents who either are at risk of being bullied themselves or who need support in communication skills and being assertive. This may or may not be the case in your situation.

However, when parents gain these particular communication skills, they can become a great support to their child in three essential ways:
  • Firstly, they can talk through feelings with their child which is very validating and healing for their child.
  • Secondly, they become role models for their child in how to be assertive as they now have the skills themselves.
  • Thirdly, they can be a voice for their child and stand with them as they deal with the bullying and the abusive system.

Over the years, I have worked with many parents who have had similar experiences. The good news is that, with this intervention, it is possible for you and your family to build understanding, confidence and communication skills. Then, as you all become empowered, you and your child can then make healthy choices, take your power back from the bully/bullies and move on.

I can work with you to help you achieve this!
Young victim of cyber or social media bullying with head in hands.

Cyber or social media bullying is devastating for the victim -
counselling with Margaret can be the first step in stopping it.

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