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What happens when the narcissist loses their job, family, house, and money and you are the only supply that could save them but you have discarded them and have a protective order against them?

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You can never save him. Your thinking is worrying. You could get sucked back in. Only they can save themselves.

Had a client last year for 18 years he made her life hell. She was emotionally and physically abused during those years and she ended up in A&E many times with serious injuries.

Last year she arrived at where it appears u are now in the relationship and was able to stay no contact to protect herself.

In his anger and his usual go to place to get her back he threatened suicide. In the past she would usually give in to this threat.

This time she did not. Sadly he did make the choice to carry out his threat. Just before that he had taken every penny of her life savings which went to his children from a previous marriage.

My client is aware she was not responsible for the choice he made, and that she would not be the stable person she is today if she had fallen for his manipulations as before.

Do take care, this man has lost everything for a reason, you cannot fix it for him, no contact might be best as you sound vulnerable. I would encourage you to get support from a therapist who understands codependency and narcissistic dynamics.


‘For more than 50 years I have tried to put a name on a collective set of behaviours that have affected my life and relationships. For example difficultly recalling a story I have just been told, say whatever first comes into my mind, poor focus with verbal detail yet meticulous with figures,...

Dave , 65, Client
Oct 15, 2018

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