Quora Blog Responses

Is it better for a child to be raised without a narcissist parent, if possible, by only one parent who is not narcissist?

Yes from my experience in my work is causes less confusion for the child and leads to more consistency to be raised by the non narcissistic parent.

Very often the main objective of the narcissistic parent is to hurt their ex partner. They achieve this by attempting to cause alienation from their children by lying about the other parent or through buying material goods that the other parent may not be able to afford for the child.

They also have weak home rules which the children are drawn to causing problems for the non-narc parent, because the children enjoy the freedom of few rules particularly in their early teenage years.

These different parental boundaries cause major problems in the long term, so you must be firm in setting up rules on the outset if you do intend keeping up some form of contact.

The narcissistic parent is often very financially generous to win the children's affections, again another tactic to hurt the ex partner and alienate them from the children. Very often their ex can be left struggling financially and can't buy such gifts.

All of this gameplaying is divisive and confusing for children. Be very firm in setting boundaries if you have to have any contact.

Good luck in moving forward with your new life.

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