Quora Blog Responses

How do Narcissists and toxic parents raise their children?

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In a non toxic and non-narcissistic family the needs are centered on the children whereas in in a toxic/dysfunctional family the needs are centered on the parents. The children are controlled and are not allowed a voice. Those who do try to assert themselves often suffer serious consequences.

The children are expected to parent their parents or meet their needs and toxic rules at all costs leaving the child with no choice or voice. They are encouraged to keep financial, sexual, emotional and physical abuse in the family a secret. They are encouraged to lie to cover up for either parent and indeed for some, their grandparent’s abusive behaviour is also kept a secret.

They automatically learn to please their parents to get their parent's approval. This costs the child their loss of self and spirit. All too often they unconsciously choose similar partners due to this conditioning. The good news is that they can rewrite this childhood scripting by attending therapy with a therapist who understands these dynamics. This work breaks the family patterns and is a gift for the generations to come.


My feelings and understanding on being advised of ADHD: I have long had difficulties with self-esteem and have always been my own worst critic but I feel much more at ease now and I am much kinder to myself. That there is an explanation for the way I think, operate and feel makes me hopeful for ...

Gus 45 yrs diagnosed in 2019 with ADHD
Jan 28, 2020

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